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lennonlively:

i told this girl she smelled nice today and she’s like

“sorry i’m not gay”

bitch i said you smelled nice not i want to lick your pussy

how to tell whether something is a vegetable or a fruit

officialunitedstates:

hellanade:

officialunitedstates:

does it taste bad?  it is a vegetable then

What about lemons?

lemons are a vegetable lemonade is a fruit

pocketsext:

cinderella by day

sinderella by night 

swagking4000:

there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded

Anonymous: How do you make out with someone? Detail please I've never had my first kiss

jsantagato:

You close your eyes, lean it, put your thumb in their butt, and then start humming the ABC’s.